What I Would’ve Done Differently During the First 48 Hours With My Newborn

Welcoming your first baby into the world is a daunting experience, you can read everything and take every class but you honestly have no idea what to expect when the time comes given that EVERY labour is different.

That being said, here’s some reflections on my own experience which may help you when making some important decisions in the first 48 hours of life with your new baby.

I had a lot of difficulty with breastfeeding with Loretta, and there’s a few factors which i put it down to. One, was being a little bit forgotten about as we sat in the delivery room for hours waiting for a room to become available. I, a new mum not knowing what the hell to do and have no idea how to feed my baby, didn’t get off to a great start as i didn’t get that help that i needed to establish feeding right away. So my first tip, PESTER WHOEVER YOU HAVE TO AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE TO TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE REMEMBERED AND HELPED! 

Seriously, get on that phone. MAKE someone come and help you get your baby latched on. It’s their job and establishing breast feeding within the first few hours of birth is VITAL.

Secondly, FIERCELY enforce your boundaries. I was so worried of offending people that i had all the family come visit within the first 24 hours, and it was tiring and full on. If i could do it all over, i wouldn’t have had ANY visitors for those first few days in the birthing unit, for longer than 15 minutes and been more strict with times. And even for the first few days at home, so that i could fully settle in. Again it was hard to establish feeding when surrounded by people you don’t feel comfortable whipping ya boobies out in front of. Also, when your maternal instincts are so strong it’s hard to pass your baby around to people when all you want to do is get all the snuggles you can. I had a LONNNNG labour and hardly slept, but when my baby arrived i was wired and didn’t want to sleep, until tea time – when all the visitors decided to visit, NOT GOOD. Also everyone happened to turn up while i was eating or trying to feed and all sorts of inconvenient times, it was just too much and added all this unnecessary worry and angst. My husband had to work so i had my mum with me during the day, she was a God send and totally not included in this no visitor rule, which brings me to my next point:

Your mum knows how this all goes and will be a huge support, so let her support you. No more elaboration needed.

Have way more snuggles. Now Loretta is at a super un-snuggley age and just wants to explore, i really wish i had spent more time having cuddles while i could. Make the most of those new born snuggles.

Of course all people are different, you may well thrive by being surrounded by your loved ones at this special time. But just remember, make sure YOUR boundaries and being enforced. If people are offended it’s their problem not yours. If you feel too fragile and don’t want to speak out, make sure your partner knows what you are and aren’t okay with and let them speak for you.

Happy bonding mamas

xo

That unbearable UGH feeling…

You probably know what i’m talking about just from reading the title. Ya know, when your heart is feeling so heavy that you can literally feel the UGH.

I’ve found myself so very nostalgic lately. Life moves by so fast, and the people who were once your entire world are now just little them-shaped holes in your life. I find that more and more the older i get and more responsibilities i have, the more i find myself missing the “good old day” being 16 and surrounded by friends.

I moved to New Zealand at 18 and have found myself increasingly isolated ever since. It’s a shitty time of life to be moving to another country. You’re long passed those school years when making friends is super easy. It’s a transition phase for everyone. Most of my friends back home went off to uni or started jobs and they too lost touch with each other, but they still had the familiarity of their home and the chance to catch up with the old crew on the weekends and holidays. Now add in motherhood to the mix, and while i have an amazing group of friends who are also mothers, i still feel lonelier than ever because i’m so far estranged from the people i grew up with and the people who made me who i am today. Even if i were still in England, i know we wouldn’t see each other day in day out like we did at school, but at least they would only be a bus/train ride away for a rowdy weekend and a chin wag.

So, this is why i’m UGH at the moment. There’s no fix to this really and i suppose it’s a feeling that will never truly go away.

Alternative ways to refer to your friends

Friends – such a boring way to refer to the greatest people in your life, whom you choose to surround yourself with and do life with. But lets look at this in a bit more of a creative way than referring to these persons than “squad” or “crew”. Here are some references you may choose to use when #hashtagging your next group shot:

Allies

Bosom Buddies

Patrons

Amigos

Cohorts

Associates

Chums

Fellows

Partners

Comrades

Sidekicks

Contacts

Neighbours

Advocates

Consorts

Familiars

Cronies

Spares

Accomplices

Companion

Compatriot

Well-wisher

Keep these in mind next time you whip out your hashtags and selfie-sticks.

Happy gathering!

An introduction to my not so fancy self

So i started a blog  while ago, with the soul purpose of sharing my birth story. I got a little carried away and ended up adding multiple menus and dreaming about all the flashy content i could produce. There were travel, beauty, style, entertainment sections. Safe to say that it was $140 wasted, as i made a grand total of 3 posts, then realized it was too hard to upkeep with my overachieving plans for it.

Which bring me here. A blog that is more me. Where i can write freely and not feel pressured by myself to write “readable” content, or posts about trending bs.

The original blog i planned was just too fancy. Don’t get me wrong, i love fancy things. I am drawn to the shiny and the glamorous like a magpie. However the reality is, no matter how much i dream of the fancy life, it just isn’t my life and never will be. I can covert those $1000 red carpet gowns and expensive as heck goop that makes your face look plushy, but in reality i would have no where to wear that gown other than around the house where it would be vomited upon frequently by my lovely daughter, snagged on fences as i run through the paddock to say hi to my pet sheep, clicked by cats that i insist on carrying around despite their efforts to resist and molted upon by my cuddly pooch. And to be perfectly honest, i wouldn’t have my life any other way.

If i believed in reincarnation, i’d say my pull to the fancy and frivolous was down to my past life as some sort of empress, who had handmaidens and sat around in the nude covered in glitter and jewels while my minions fed me grapes and did my bidding. Now i’m here in 2018, my minions are gone and i am left to fend for myself, and there is no room for the fancy. Or maybe i was some sort of god, like Glory from BTVS (yes i am a HUGE Buffy fan), it would explain my craziness and shoe obsession.

Anyway, this is me. Just a girl, born in Yorkshire, brought up on a council estate, moved to New Zealand (moved up in the world with my fanciness just a tad) and now i am here. A mother, a wife, an admirer of the finer things in life which will never practically fit into my life. And this is my blog, where i will write whatever pops in my muddled baby brain.

TTFN.