You probably know what i’m talking about just from reading the title. Ya know, when your heart is feeling so heavy that you can literally feel the UGH.
I’ve found myself so very nostalgic lately. Life moves by so fast, and the people who were once your entire world are now just little them-shaped holes in your life. I find that more and more the older i get and more responsibilities i have, the more i find myself missing the “good old day” being 16 and surrounded by friends.
I moved to New Zealand at 18 and have found myself increasingly isolated ever since. It’s a shitty time of life to be moving to another country. You’re long passed those school years when making friends is super easy. It’s a transition phase for everyone. Most of my friends back home went off to uni or started jobs and they too lost touch with each other, but they still had the familiarity of their home and the chance to catch up with the old crew on the weekends and holidays. Now add in motherhood to the mix, and while i have an amazing group of friends who are also mothers, i still feel lonelier than ever because i’m so far estranged from the people i grew up with and the people who made me who i am today. Even if i were still in England, i know we wouldn’t see each other day in day out like we did at school, but at least they would only be a bus/train ride away for a rowdy weekend and a chin wag.
So, this is why i’m UGH at the moment. There’s no fix to this really and i suppose it’s a feeling that will never truly go away.